Greece is far more beautiful than I had ever imagined! The way that the light plays off the ocean and every building, hill and rock seems to make the place shimmer with magic. Of course, it doesn't hurt to be standing next to Stelios as I am viewing it, either! He shines here, so brightly, even more than he normally does, and every step or breath he takes his pride in this land shows. Of course, we haven't even arrived in Sparta yet. I wonder how much more brightly he will shine there, among the people of his village and those who know and love him so well.
It is becoming so hard to maintain my self control with him! I want so much to show him or even tell him how I feel and yet there are those niggling voices that tell me to wait, and even Stelios keeps telling me, "Sparta, my home, my bed." In my heart of hearts, I know that is what we both have promised each other and how things should be.
And yet, after all that, when everything meets at that single point, and Stelios and I do become lovers, what then? I know that Stelios feels something for me. It's hard to look in his eyes and not see it reflected back at me in all of it's nearly overwhelming force. When we are together we laugh and play almost constantly - except for those times when we aren't playing. It's those times when there is absolute quiet, when we just stare at each other, and we know, or seem to know what the other one is thinking. I had a dream the other night. In some ways it was somewhat disconcerting, in other ways, it was not at all surprising. Something about it had a ring of truth. No doubt I will write about it in more detail later, but it did explain a little of why we seem so familiar to each other, or at least he has always seemed so, to me. Stelios didn't even scoff nor did he bat an eyelash when we were at the Parthenon and I told him it felt as if we had been in that place once before, together. He nodded and said that perhaps my Ancestors had been there, and that perhaps I was carrying that memory within me now. I have to admit, it's an interesting thought.
Anyway, in the dream there was a woman, a queen or a Goddess, perhaps - not my mother, and she showed me a large scrying mirror as tall either of us. I remember it was as if I were already a person, small and a child but not quite - almost before I was born and I saw images of Stelios flash on the scrying surface. He was dressed as a warrior, in rugged rough terrain - and the one thing, in that dream that stuck out was his smile. The spirit that I was, or maybe it was how I feel about him now smiled and reached out to touch the surface, almost surprised to feel the unyielding glass beneath my hand rather than his face. The female figure or Goddess challenged me on my previously held assumptions that I would never find love and would be devoted to my love of music and the Bardic arts. "Already the icy stone within your heart melts under his gaze," she said laughing. Her laughter was like music or water over rock, "Remember his face well, Spirit that shall be a woman, and you will know love for more than just your harp and quill."
The scene then flashed to a great battle, with arrows that darkened the sky and all of the men I had seen in the vision slowly falling under the attack of their enemy. Valiantly each of them gave their last breath in their efforts, and the one that I had seen reached out his hand to another man, and they clasped each other and spoke words but there was no sound. When Stelios fell back, his face contorted in pain, I cried out, nearly throwing myself into the mirror, and fell to the floor, I could feel the tears against my face even in the dream. I woke up with a start, and my face was wet with tears. I must have cried out for Stelios was instantly through the door of my room to see what what was the matter. Seeing him there was a relief and he held me and whispered softly to me, stroking my hair. Unable to get back to sleep, Stelios led me out onto the balcony and we watched the sunrise over Athens. I felt bad for having awakened him, but after the nightmare vision of what must have been his past, I was relieved to have him near.
Today Stelios will explore more of the city and see more of the sights. There is so much here, it is very difficult to take it all in, but I have a feeling this is only my first trip to Greece.